Sunday, October 20, 2013

What Love Does To You

I tried to whisper to him
Sweet subtleties
But sweet subtleties
Turned by torrents
Into screams

To speak words, though they may be heard
To think they may not be understood
Not nearly the way I felt them
Words rich, red, bloody, gooey
Once received by him, turn vacant & dry as air

I thought he knew
When I stood naked in front of him
That I was giving him all

Poor boy, and poor me
The nights I screamed in hysteria
That I really never did know you
You around me is
Someone different, completely

And tomorrow he touches
His lips to another
And lusts over her and all the others
I am just the main course, they the dessert
Maybe he never heard

Weeping as a pink rose whose petals fall off and wither
I’ve nothing left inside to give, just let it be forgiven
I’m both the desert and the ocean
Empty, vast, endless, lonesome
Filled to great depths with torrents of emotion
To love so fully a man
Who is nothing more than a man

Sometimes you want someone
Bigger than a man
Aspiring to be better, better, always his best self
Godlike, honorable, honest, prudent

I wish life would cut him off
Because I don’t have the strength to
Or the consistency to
Death is better than this bitter
Neverending experience of being
Unrequited, deceived
His death would be the life of me

-Emily Clibourn

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